DAY 31 - as this year’s Tour de Elora finishes, so too does this blog of my cancer journey. What a better way to finish this series than to talk about my last day as a cancer patient.

This is the front of the Grand River Cancer Centre in Kitchener. It is a bittersweet memory for me. I have so much gratitude for all of the staff who work in this building. They are the kindest, most compassionate people I have ever met, but as soon as I walk through those doors I always have flashbacks to some really painful memories.

I remember my last visit to this building. It was in 2021. I hadn’t seen my oncologist in person during COVID, because they were prioritizing patients in active treatment for in person visits - totally understandable! My oncologist didn’t feel comfortable discharging me until she could examine me in person one last time. I arrived and a volunteer was at the door providing hand sanitizer and ensuring everyone had a medical mask. Somehow, the hand sanitizer bounced and hit me in the eye. The poor young student volunteer just starting shouting “oh no! Oh no!” My eye was burning and watering and I couldn’t see very well. Staff starting running from all over to figure out what was happening. I was laughing (and crying because of the sanitizer). At that moment I knew my last visit would always be memorable!
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My oncologist and I shared a good cry together at our last visit. She had been by my side through it all. My last words to her were “I really hope I never have to see you again!” She laughed and said me too!

DAY 30 - one month after my 32nd birthday. I celebrated another huge milestone - maybe the largest milestone in my entire life. I finished cancer treatment. It was the toughest 6 months of my life. It took every ounce of fight I had in me to finish. However, little did I know, finishing treatment wasn’t really the finish line for me.

As gruelling as my cancer treatment was physically, the emotional roller coaster of living life after cancer was also gruelling in other ways. It took many years for me to come to terms with the aftermath. While I was ecstatic to be in remission, shaking the nagging feeling that the cancer may one day return still lingered. If I am being honest, it still lingers today.
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Since I was diagnosed with cancer I have struggled with the WHY. Why did I get cancer? as well as why did I survive it? I will never get the answers, but I hope that I can use my second chapter in life to help others in their journey. For all those currently battling or currently struggling with the aftermath, I stand with you and hoping you see better days ahead!

DAY 18 - I love when facebook memories pop up. Today I was reminded that 10 years ago today I officially received my PhD diploma in Epidemiology from the University of Guelph. I was so proud of myself. I spent 12 years in University to earn a BSc, Msc, and PhD degrees. 
However, there is another sort of graduate diploma that I keep with my academic diplomas - it is my chemotherapy graduate diploma. This was given to me by all of my amazing chemo nurses on my last chemotherapy treatment. All of the nurses who I had worked with during my 4 months of chemotherapy took the time to write personal messages of congratulations for me. It was a small gesture that meant so much to me!  I keep it with my diplomas as a reminder of how hard I fought for my future - both professionally and personally. 

Yours very truly, 
Gillian Alton, BSc, Msc, PhD, BCS (Breast Cancer Survivor!)

DAY 11 - As my 5 years post cancer treatment was approaching, I wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion. I was set to be discharged from the cancer follow-ups and transitioning to yearly cancer screening. 
My first thought was to create an every day piece of jewellery to reward me for my journey. I visited Mandy from at Macadi Jewellery in Elora. I had very few ideas to help her design my custom piece other than I wanted a necklace that I could wear every day. While we chatted, she sketched the most perfect piece of art that was a perfect summation of my cancer journey. There were 5 different sized stones to represent my 5 year journey and they were spaced unevenly because the road was not even - some years were more difficult and had more obstacles than others. I couldn't believe how well a necklace could represent my journey. I wear that necklace with pride every day to represent my past journey and all the beauty my future holds. 

DAY 9 - This picture was taken in October 2015. It was my ID picture taken the first day at my new job. No one's life is perfect, but I distinctly remember thinking at this time, life was going pretty well! I had just completed my PhD, bought a house with my amazing partner, and started my dream job working from home. 
This was also the day I discovered a lump in my breast. I had a immediate feeling that it was cancer, but tried to calm my gut feeling with the statistics - given my family history and risk factors it would be incredibly rare to have breast cancer at my age. However, I couldn't ignore my gut and got it checked out any way. 
I was only at my dream job for 3 months before taking a year off for cancer treatment and recovery. I was lucky to have amazing colleagues that supported me and allowed me the time I needed to recover. While I would never say that I am thankful for having cancer, I am thankful of the lessons that having cancer has given me and how it shapes my future goals. Cancer has given me a different perspective on my life, career and family. As happy as I thought I was pre-cancer, I think I am even happier now!